Terms

You need to be at least 18 to be on Sonderlist. One account per person, under your real name. Your name only appears on a message if you choose to sign it.

Twice a week, we pick one person on the list at random. They get a set amount of time to write a message. We review it, and if it's ready, it goes out to everyone on the list at the same time. There are no comments and no replies. The only response is a private heart.

Being picked is random, and we can't promise you'll ever be picked, or how often. You can pass the mic any time, with no penalty. You can also pause your membership, or choose to just receive messages, from Settings.

Your words are yours. When you send a message, you give Sonderlist permission to show it to everyone on the list, by email and on the site, and to keep it in the archive of past messages, which members can read. We won't sell your message or use it in advertising. If we ever want to share a message outside the list, we'll ask you first.

Once a message goes out, it can't be unsent from people's inboxes. Take the time you need before you send.

Please don't send a message that:

• names or identifies another private person, or shares where they live or work
• harasses, threatens, or demeans anyone, or targets a group of people
• is an ad, asks for money, or asks people to follow you
• includes links, or content that's sexual, violent, or illegal
• pretends to be someone you're not, or isn't yours to share

We review every message before it goes out. We don't rewrite your words. If something needs to change, we'll send it back with a note so you can revise it. We may decide not to send a message at all if it breaks these terms or could hurt someone, and we may skip a date for any reason.

We may pause or remove anyone who breaks these terms or puts other people on the list at risk.

Sonderlist isn't a crisis service, and the list can't respond to you. If a message tells us you're going through something hard, we may reach out privately with support resources. If you need help now, in the US you can call or text 988 any time. Elsewhere, findahelpline.com lists free support near you. If you're in danger, call your local emergency number.

You can leave whenever you want. Email us at hello@thesonderlist.com and we'll close your account. Messages that already went out stay in the archive unless you ask us to remove them.

Sonderlist is a small, early project, offered as it is. We do our best to keep it running and safe, but we can't promise it will always be available or free of mistakes. Messages are written by members, not by us, and they reflect their authors' views. To the extent the law allows, Sonderlist isn't liable for indirect or consequential damages from using it.

These terms are governed by the laws of the State of New York. If we change them, we'll update the date at the top and, for meaningful changes, let members know by email.

How we handle your information is covered in our privacy policy. Questions about any of this? Write to hello@thesonderlist.com.